The Male Author of this Article Wishes to Remain Anonymous
"I had fought too many battles and this one was one too many..."
Society tells us what success is and what success should look like. A nice car, a nice house. A good, well paid job, a successful business, the Instagram life that the world looks in on and sees as a success.
I have a deep rooted interest with the Roman Empire, which seems to be a trend in fellow males, I’ve recently discovered! The bigger the building the greater the success. It was all about power and wealth and dominating anyone that dared to step in its way. Within the walls of Rome, the success and power was enjoyed. There are a lot of similarities in the modern world of outward shows of success.
I started my business at 19. Small, slow, no capital to speak of. I had no transport, no tools, just a lot of determination and desire to ‘succeed’. It wasn’t easy! It was a struggle to get off the ground, but I didn’t give in and gradually it started to gain some traction. Over a period of time the business grew and the little odd jobs I was doing started to pay off and lead to bigger jobs. Bigger and bigger. The goal at the outset was to earn a living. I was now earning a living. I met the woman who would go on to become my wife, and the money I had earned and saved gave us a good start. A deposit on a house. It was enough. I see that as a huge success now, years later!
Then the picture became distorted. The goal changed. It stopped feeling enough. A better car, a bigger house, nicer things, a newer van, a bigger business that makes more money and and and… the desire became about the success, rather than being enough. A business which employed multiple people and more than one van. How successful! How well must he be doing?! The fear of losing it became the motivator. The enthusiasm and determination became about defending what I had and not on what was enough. I was working ridiculous hours, sacrificing what REALLY mattered.
Then came the fall...
The pressure, financially and physically, was crippling. My mental health was in bits and my body was not far behind. The empire was falling. It was not sustainable. I had fought too many battles and this one was one too many. I had to accept the fall from a place of perceived success. I had to accept that I had lost sight of what was important.
When the Roman Empire fell, it was the end of the empire, but not the end of Rome. Rome became a republic. It was put back into the hands of the people again. To be run by the senate. All of the buildings became a source of material for other things. The rubble of the empire became the seed of the republic. The fall was not just the end, but also the beginning.
I reset my goals. I used the skills and the experience I had gained in the 18 years previously and I started to plant the seeds of growth. None of which could take place without the rise, and the fall, of all the years of work which had gone before. The skills, the tools and the knowledge gathered from the rubble became the beginning of the next chapter.
The fall was no longer something I feared. It was a gift and a place for growth that I didn’t know existed.
If you enjoyed this article, why not read...
The Steps to Freedom
The author describes their ongoing search for freedom having experienced depression, a forbidden relationship, and loss of their religion.
House of Cards
The author of this article shares their perspective on the importance of building their family on a solid foundation.
It Started With Betrayal
A powerful share by Rachel Durik about her experience of self suppression and ultimately finding freedom despite enormous sacrifice.
Your online magazine showcasing a collection of personal stories intended to empower, inspire & celebrate. If you've enjoyed reading...
Celebration of Self Magazine is property of WAGMAG LTD 2023