" I'm just a person. Just the "Love of His Life". How can I compete.."

He reaches for my hand

and I stretch out desperately yearning 

For the connection

For the togetherness I miss between us.

I look up to his eyes

I breathe in his eyes 

and his phone

Lights up the room

And his hand moves away

And the connection is gone.

Transferred.

Away from me and into his screen.

 

 

I lay alone

Lost in my thoughts 

Loneliness  

Longing for connection.

He’s here

“It’s okay, I understand”

His hand reaches and his fingers brush against my cheek

I breathe in his touch

and his watch

His bastard watch 

Buzzes on his wrist

And his hand moves away

And the connection is gone.

Transferred.

Away from me and into his screen.

 

 

A smart move.

From a smart watch.

That keeps us apart by promising to bring us together.

 

 

And now he’s away from me 

Like he so often is 

and into the mysterious world

that exists between him and his screen

that I am not a part of

that holds his escape. 

 

 

His escape from me?

 

But I love him

And he says he loves me

And yet.

He runs into the light that breaks

Every

Connection we have.

A flash of a screen that alerts him to a message that was sold as connection

But is disconnection

Dictionary

Defined

Disconnect. 

 

I’m just a person.

Just the “Love of His Life”

How can I compete

With endless streams

Of meaningless opinions

Of people he does not know

Of people he does not like

Of people he wishes to leave him alone

But that exist within his phone.

 

 

I wonder

Often

If it will ever come back.

The connection

The conversation

The codependency 

I once held dear.

Or if it’s gone

Forever.

Stolen by the algorithm 

Automated Addiction

An Assassination

Of our connection.