A Rare Jewel – A Celebration of Self

The Author Wants You to Know...

Name: Jessica

Instagram: @withopenwings

Jessica is a free-spirited wanderess on a mission to recreate real, in-person connections and share smiles with as many beings as possible.

Her current favourite mantras are: “Disconnect to reconnect” | “Tune out to tune in” | “Make the mundane magical”

"Continual distraction creates disconnection. It means we miss, and then we rush to catch up. Caught in an endless loop of being too busy for the things and people that truly matter."

I was always a Daddy’s girl growing up, and I love my Dad unconditionally. Our bond only deepened through the dark depths of his ill mental health 6 years ago, and again following the return of his health over the last year or so.

He will always be a rare jewel to me, but I realised another level to this in recent months… He does not have a phone, ipad or laptop, and he does not use a computer.

Along with the few people who purposely don’t own ‘smart’ phones (they’re the real smart ones), to know someone who doesn’t own a mobile phone at all is a rarity these days, and a true privilege.

If it works to just have one pic in the article wag, maybe this one_

Since the passing of my uncle (my Dad’s brother) in 2021, I began to feel protective of Dad and extra precious about our time together. Having lost family members from a young age, I’ve always had this strong inner knowing that life really is short and every moment with loved ones counts.

My own personal non-negotiable is no phones while eating or at the dinner table with others, whether in or out. To me that’s basic manners and a huge sign of respect to those you’re with and your own digestive system.

I remember being out at a dinner about ten years ago with friends. The moment all of them were checking or on their phones at the same time, it took everything in me not to just get up and leave the table, the restaurant and the city. What was the point of us being there together?…

A decade on, this is now unfortunately the norm everywhere you look. Families out together, couples out on dates (?!) This observation comes from a place of love, not judgement - is this really, truly, deep down how we want to be living?

Dad relies on the people directly in front of him, our landline and himself.

He will listen. He will hear. He will converse. He takes his time. Always contemplating. Only ever distracted by the task in front of him or his own wandering thoughts, which he will often share.

He is a rare jewel.

A present, patient, unassuming shimmer in a crowd of phone zombies.

These are a real thing and most of us are them, at one time or another. Undergoing mindless wandering in the streets, almost colliding into others - our subconscious usually bringing us back to consciousness just in time (it’s good to know we’re not all completely dead, just yet).

There’s less eye contact with passing strangers. And therefore less smiles exchanged.

Used in an unhealthy way, these devices control our worlds, our thoughts, our emotions, our moods.

I know how much more irritable and unable to focus I am when I’ve spent prolonged periods on my phone. I see it in others too.

Continual distraction creates disconnection. It means we miss, and then we rush to catch up. Caught in an endless loop of being too busy for the things and people that truly matter.

It harbours guilt and shame which we’re not even aware of, but our bodies and systems know very well this is not how we’re meant to be living and how we best thrive.

Let your distraction be a worthwhile one - let it be your children growing up, let it be lessons that help you grow, let it be laughter, let it be shared experiences with friends, let it be reminiscing with loved ones, let it be creative pursuits and passion projects that bring you joy.

This is a reminder for me too.

A reminder that life feels better, more fulfilling, brighter, more hopeful and full of endless possibilities when my head is out of my phone and away from the web of preconceived notions woven to keep us distracted and disconnected, and is instead fully in the real, tangible world in front of me, particularly when shared with rare jewels like my father.

How sad it will be for our world when this rare breed becomes extinct. I shall do my very best to remember and to pass on this gift of remembrance and presence.

Just for today, notice the difference in how you feel when you put down your device and be fully there with yourself, others and the world around you. Especially when a present person, a rare jewel, is beside you. And that my loves is always, because you too are a rare jewel, and you’re forever and always in your own presence.

Let your next dopamine hit come from smiling at other real, living, breathing, moving beings, and yes that even includes yourself in the mirror.