The Author Wants You to Know...
Name: Em Burns
Astrology: Watery Cancer, feels all the feels
ASL [lol]: 30, F, UK/Dublin
Instagram: @eburns79
I don’t think I wish I knew the following when I was younger, because sometimes we need to learn these things to grow, but I would want my daughter to know.
Here are 30+ things I’ve learnt in my first 30 years :
- I am not for everyone, and that is ok. They will never want what I have to give.
- Stop justifying and proving myself. Buy that extra pair of Lulu’s you don’t need [if they make you feel good].
- Don’t drink that extra coffee. You will feel like shit.
- There is space for us all. No-one's light can ever take away mine [unless I let it].
- Find beauty in the mundane. BE in the doing. [But doing bedsheets still isn’t fun].
- Breathe, deep. No, even deeper.
- Move everyday. [In nature].
- Go get that D [Vitamin].
- Do one thing at a time and do it well.
- My sensitive, empathetic self is a strength; it helps me make connections and relate to people. But feeling things so deeply is great until it’s not.
- Procrastination for the nation - stop being scared of failing or not doing it perfectly - just start and it won’t be as bad as my mind is telling me. If it is, I will learn something either way.
- I’ll try anything once [or twice, just to make sure].
- What is the most nourishing thing I can do for myself in each moment? Ps. it is probably the thing I am avoiding most.
- I always have a choice where I place my energy. If it doesn’t serve me, I take myself out of it.
- My life has been filled with so much misfortune [most of which never happened]. You cannot plan for every scenario - to my anxious mum.
- It is not about me. How people view me and their actions are a reflection of their level of consciousness, self-awareness and ability to accept [and dare I say love] themselves.
- We are all just doing the best with what we have - none of us have a fucking clue, so forgive [yourself included].
- Us Humans actually need very little to be happy. But we are always seeking more. Pleasure. Power. Money. Being Right. Until you accept yourself and have an idea what you are here to do, nothing will ever be enough.
- Nothing comes easy. [Apart from armpit hair after you’ve just shaved].
- It is ok to change my mind. Just because I’ve always done it, I don’t have to keep doing it.
- Find ways to enjoy life, not escape it. You will still have to wake up to the same problems tomorrow even if you drink that extra glass of wine. Be clear on your intention behind everything.
- JOMO is a thing - joy of missing out.
- If it upsets some people, then you’re likely doing it right.
- The greatest gift we can give someone is full conscious presence. Listen to understand, not to be right, respond, react, defend or fix.
- The greatest gift we can give ourselves is time. Full conscious awareness of what is here. Truly.
- Set boundaries. Until you respect yourself, no-one else will.
- Get quiet, the answers come in the space between the thoughts [not Google].
- I hate rushing. [Inshallah].
- People-watching is a hobby [I wish I’d studied psychology].
- Set the intention, know I am worthy of it, then detach. The universe won't give you what you desire when you grip or don’t feel you deserve it.
- Move with today’s energy. Just because you climbed Everest yesterday, it doesn’t mean you have to do the same today.
- Give with an open heart and no expectation of receiving anything in return. [But also don’t be a martyr].
- Take the less trodden, soul path, not the one society tells you to.
- Hold tension of polarities - it doesn’t always need to be one or the other. You can be joyful and grieving, all at the same time.
- If you are here, you are worthy to take up space.
- No-one owes you anything.
- My worth is not based on my productivity, my body or my appearance.
- Take accountability for my reality. I am not a victim. But sometimes things are just shit and I can be sad.
- Knowing my mission, vision, purpose and values has given me a compass and solid foundations that my life is now built upon. [Yes, it will upset some people].
- Live unapologetically [but say sorry if you’ve been a dick].
- If you can do anything, just be kind.
- Don’t fake it until you make it, you’ll have imposter syndrome.
- I have no tolerance for hierarchy. Don’t place leaders or people in positions of power on a pedestal. They talk more shit and take less accountability than most. They fear becoming inferior.
- The status quo often only works for the privileged few. Changing this will be uncomfortable.
- I will fuck up - get over it.
- Anything is possible with hard work, humour and a little bit of good luck along the way.
- Play, fun, laughter and dance keeps us alive. [Sounds like a tacky sign from B&M, but it's true].
- Experience life for all it has to offer. Travel. Even more.
- Celebrate every little win. You have come so far.
- I don’t need a big circle of friends. Just my tribe [that I would give my left arm for]. And they will change through life, which is ok.
- I am an extroverted introvert. I need so much space alone to recharge. But I like people [Sometimes].
- I never knew I needed a boyfriend. I still don’t. But I love mine dearly. Although I thought wet towels on the bed was a thing people joked about until I met him. [Also, murder isn’t a joke].
- It is ok to ask for help - I don’t need to have all the answers.
- If you don’t like doing something [and can], pay someone else to do it.
- Sit with it all, even when it feels unbearable, and let it move through you. It will get stored in you and manifest in unhealthy ways if not.
- Keep asking - How am I getting in my own way?
- Smile and say hi to strangers [the odd few I lock eyes with I think I’ve probably met in a past life].
- Dream even bigger. Turn your desires into intentions. Then take actions everyday that get you closer to them.
- Time is manmade and makes me rush when I don’t need to rush. [I’ll get high blood pressure soon].
- This was supposed to be 30 well written life lessons, but I couldn’t reduce it down. Decisiveness isn’t my strong point, and that’s ok.
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